Anchoring Your Way To Self-Esteem
Nobody can harm you unless you give them permission. There will be many times in life when your self-esteem is shaken. Your guts and abilities can help you get you through these difficult situations, but your self-esteem might take a beating. The important thing to remember is that “no one can harm you without your agreement.”
First, let us distinguish between self-esteem and confidence. Self-esteem is how you feel about yourself from inside. It is not a result of skills or abilities you acquire but a result of self-worth and self-love. Confidence is the belief in your skills and abilities, like knowing you can play piano very well since you have played it a lot of times before. Or knowing you can prepare a balance sheet without errors since you have done it before. It is possible to be confident but still lack self-esteem.
Your self-esteem may be harmed for a variety of reasons. You might have had a poor marriage and are now on the verge of getting divorced. You may have been laid off or you were not chosen for the promotion you applied for. In any of the scenarios, there is a great deal of suffering. You do not, however, have to endure. You must rise and resolve to regain your self-assurance.
Pain and challenges are unavoidable in life. However, you are in control of how much influence you allow them to have on you. It’s entirely up to you whether you choose to recover or continue to suffer. Humankind is blessed with the ability to adapt, but most of the time we choose to prolong our suffering unnecessarily.
HOW DO YOU ANCHOR YOUR WAY TO SELF-ESTEEM?
Have you heard of Pavlov? The man who discovered that by ringing a bell, he could train dogs to drool? The dogs were taught to associate the ringing of the bell with the presence of food. What Pavlov performed is referred to as anchoring in NLP.
Our lives are heavily reliant on anchoring. It’s the process of linking an internal response to a mental or physical environment. Every one of us has a favourite music that makes us feel good…or bad. When someone is experiencing an intense emotion and a specific stimulus is applied at some time throughout that experience, a neural link is formed between the stimulus and the feeling.
A woman whose husband has died is a terrible example of this. As those who are attending his funeral pass by, they pat her on the arm and express their condolences. Weeks after the burial, the woman will simply need to be touched on the arm to reawaken her mourning sentiments.
How Can Anchoring Help You Gain Rapid Self-Esteem?
Think of a period when you were completely confident, felt strong, and had no doubts in your mind. Associate that feeling with a unique touch or action that you do not normally perform, like clenching your fist. Repeat this process with precise accuracy of the action or touch many times until your anchor is set. Make sure you set your anchor at the time when the feelings intensify.
Test your anchor by clenching your fist. If you’ve done it correctly, you should feel a surge of those similar feelings every time you clench your fist. Clear your mind and allow yourself to vividly relive those memories.
Once the anchor is set tap into it every time you want to feel or increase your self-esteem. This is how straightforward it is. Imagine activating this technique whenever you’re feeling self-conscious.
The anchoring effectiveness is determined by the strength of the emotional experience, the uniqueness of action or touch associated with it, and the number of times it is repeated. Read the fundamentals of anchoring in this article. From training to poker, a trained practitioner can teach you various effective anchoring strategies and applications.
What would your life be like if you could anchor yourself to states of extreme confidence, power, and motivation that you could then shoot off whenever you wanted?
OTHER PRACTICAL WAYS TO GET YOUR SELF-ESTEEM BACK
1. Try to see the better side of things.
If you’ve been laid off, it’s fine to be upset for a week or two, but not longer. Although losing a job is a dreadful experience, it is not the end of the world. Who knows, maybe it’ll turn out to be a blessing in disguise. Maybe will have some time to reflect on your life, figure out where you’re headed, and consider your interests and hobbies that you haven’t been able to pursue due to work obligations.
Similarly, a divorce can be excruciatingly painful, but you weren’t particularly happy in your marriage either. It was most likely not meant to be. You now have the opportunity to reconstruct your life in the manner that you desire.
2. Stop putting yourself in comparison to others.
Stop staring at other people who appear to be too pleasant and at ease from afar. Stop equating their ease with your misery. This will simply add to your frustration. Concentrate on yourself and make every attempt to get out anytime you are low.
When you have a problem, you ask God, “Why me, God?” But when God lavished you with blessings, did you then stand up and ask, “Oh God, why me?” That is the essence of human nature. When we are in difficulties, we moan and remember God; otherwise, we are preoccupied with ourselves. When it’s your turn, it’s your turn. Good or bad nobody can stand in the way of God’s plans.
3. Self-pity is highly addicting and has the potential to destroy lives
Rather than wallow in self-pity (which we all do from time to time), take charge of your life, accept responsibility for your actions, learn from your mistakes, and start over. The world is is not going to stop moving because your life is in a messy situation.
4. Don’t get discouraged if you get a “no.”
Even greats like Edison and Zuckerberg have had to deal with “no” before their successes. If you’re optimistic, you’ll notice that each “no” brings you closer to a “yes.” Edison is said to have completed over a thousand fruitless tests before creating an electric bulb, according to legend. So don’t be surprised if you receive a “no” now and again. Keep going, your “yes” is coming.
5. Are you obstructing your own progress?
When you stand in the path of the sun, you will see that shadows are cast. Do not obstruct your own happiness or progress. It is critical to be adaptable in today’s world. Many people will hunt for jobs for months and then turn down opportunities because they are unwilling to adjust to changing job requirements.
Angela was laid off from her work as a schoolteacher. She tried for months to get a position as a teacher, turning down offers such as private tutoring, being a nanny, and performing freelance copy-editing work. Her self-esteem was harmed even more by the long wait. It’s sometimes better to be a little flexible and adjust to new job needs rather than looking for exactly what we’ve lost. It helps you rebuild your self-esteem quickly, giving you the energy you need to secure a better job in your chosen sector!
6. Don’t let your anxiety or dread cause you to lose your self-assurance.
Worrying about what might happen, whether good or bad, is a guaranteed way to undermine self-confidence. The past belongs to yesterday, and the future belongs to tomorrow, as the saying goes. You must concentrate on today’s issues. Here is how you can cope with anxiety and fear:
a) Consistency and Practice
When it comes to dealing with your concerns, or any other activity, practice, patience, and perseverance are key. If you don’t achieve the results you want the first time, keep trying until you do. You will improve at the task at hand as you practice, and your self-confidence will grow. This is also true when it comes to dealing with your fears.
b) Figure out what works for you.
Discover what works, what doesn’t work, and what you need to improve on in controlling your fears and anxieties in every anxiety-related event you encounter. For example, suppose you’re experiencing a lot of worry and decide to go for a stroll to make you feel better. Take a walk the next time you’re anxious to remind yourself that you got through it the last time. This will give you the assurance you need to deal with your concern the next time it arises.
We can become nervous about a work that we will have to complete in the near future. When this happens, mentally picture yourself performing the task. For example, if you’re giving a presentation in front of a large group of Association members, practice giving the presentation before the big day. By mentally imagining the presentation, you will be better prepared to deliver it when the time comes. Self-visualization is an excellent strategy to relieve anxiety and stress about a looming issue while boosting your self-esteem.
d) Gratitude and prayer
Remember to pray and seek God for assistance. There’s just so much a person can do. Asking God for assistance might provide you with additional resources to help cope with anxiety. It isn’t always simple, but God is in charge, and if you ask, he will assist you.
Make a list of all the things you’re grateful for. Nothing should be taken for granted. Take out your list the next time you’re feeling sad and go over everything you’ve written. This is a wonderful method to remind us of our blessings. Knowing there is a Greater Power behind you is a sure way to boost self-esteem and confidence instantly.
Without debating or arguing, everyone would agree that a person’s self-worth can be elevated with a little more self-confidence and self-esteem. High self-esteem plays a significant role in transforming how you value yourself and helps you perceive the world in a whole new light.
Missing the advantages of self-esteem might confine you to a life of mediocrity and unfulfilled full potential. People would simply trample on you, and you would languish in a pit of sadness, entirely forgotten.
To fully love and believe in yourself, you must first appreciate and value yourself worth. This may be difficult for some people, especially if they grew up in an atmosphere that lacked unconditional love and support.
Focus on and improving your internal strong areas, sharpening your skills and abilities. The more you recognize a part of your life in which you excel, the more you will be able to enjoy and be proud of yourself.
There is no need to wait; you can begin developing your self-esteem and confidence right now; a huge world awaits people who believe in themselves and know their self-worth.